I’m a 65-year-old woman who’s been divorced for over a decade

Dear Uncle Gary,

I’m a 65-year-old woman who’s been divorced for over a decade. I raised two kids, built a career, and now I’m retired with a little house, a garden I love, and more quiet than I know what to do with.

Here’s the thing. I’m not lonely exactly, but I do miss being touched. Not just sex, though I wouldn’t say no to that either, but the little things. A hand on my back. Someone brushing hair out of my eyes. That feeling of being seen and wanted.

I’ve tried dating apps, and they make me feel like I’m auditioning for a role I don’t even want. I don’t need a husband. I don’t need a cruise partner. I just want to feel close to someone again.

Is that foolish at my age?

Signed, Still Got Skin in the Game

Dear Still Got Skin in the Game,

You are not foolish. You are not past your prime. You are not asking for too much. You are asking for something deeply human. To be touched, to be seen, to be wanted. And if anyone tries to tell you that desire has an expiration date, you can smile politely and then ignore them with the full force of your wisdom.

You’ve lived. You’ve raised children. You’ve built a life. And now you’re sitting in the quiet, wondering if there’s still room for closeness. Not just sex, though, let’s not pretend that’s off the table, but the kind of intimacy that comes from being known.

Dating apps are not built for nuance. They’re built for swiping and slogans. You are not a slogan. You are a story. And you deserve to be met with curiosity, not algorithms.

So, where do you go?

You go where grown men go when they’re not trying to impress anyone. You go to the places where people linger.

Try your local library’s author talks or lecture series. Not the ones about cryptocurrency or startup culture, but the ones about memoir, history, or gardening.

Look into community college continuing ed classes. Not because you need to learn anything, but because the guy sitting next to you might be there for the same reason.

Check out local volunteer groups that attract people with time and heart. Food banks, historical societies, and even city beautification projects. You’ll find men who show up, who care, and who are not afraid to get their hands dirty.

If you like music, go to the jazz nights, the acoustic sets, the outdoor concerts where people bring folding chairs and wine in plastic cups. That crowd knows how to relax.

And if you’re feeling bold, walk into a senior center and ask about their social calendar. You might be surprised. Some of those folks are dancing twice a week and dating like it’s 1975.

You are not looking for fireworks. You are looking for a slow burn. The kind of connection that feels like a warm blanket, not a performance.

So go where the warmth is. Go where the grown-ups are. And go as yourself, not auditioning, not shrinking, not pretending.

Because you still have skin in the game. And that skin deserves to be held.

Best Regards, Uncle Gary