How do I rebuild trust with someone who says they forgive me?

Dear Uncle Gary,

How do I rebuild trust with someone who says they forgive me, but still keeps their distance?

Signed, Trying

Dear Trying,

Forgiveness is a door. Trust is the long walk back through it.

When someone says they forgive you but still keeps their distance, it doesn’t mean they’re lying. It means they’re healing. Forgiveness is a gift they gave you. Trust is a gift you’ll have to earn.

So here’s what you do, you show up. Not with grand gestures or guilt-soaked apologies, but with consistency. With patience. With proof, not just that you’re sorry, but that you’ve changed. That you understand what hurt them, and you’re not asking them to hurry past it.

Let them set the pace. Let them have space. And when they peek out to see if it’s safe, let them find you being kind, being honest, being steady.

You don’t rebuild trust by asking for it. You rebuild it by becoming someone who deserves it.

And if they never fully come back? You still get to become that person.

With hope and humility, Uncle Gary