Officially the girl with the stank breath

Dear Uncle Gary,

Mid-hookup, this guy just stops and goes, “Yeah I think I’m done, your breath stinks.” I was mortified. Like crawl-into-the-earth-and-disappear mortified. I left immediately, didn’t say a word, just dipped.

Thing is, I looked good that night. Full glam, full confidence, full-course-meal energy. But apparently my breath said “leftovers.”

We’ve known each other for months, and now I’m sitting in this Uber wondering—did I just ruin everything over one bad breath moment? Is there any coming back from this? Or am I officially the girl with the stank breath he’ll never text again?

Signed, Mortified and Mintless

Dear Mortified and Mintless,

First off, let me say this loud and clear: one moment of bad breath does not define you. You are not “the stank breath girl.” You are a full-glam, full-course-meal human who had a very human moment. And while this guy may have delivered his feedback with all the grace of a sledgehammer, that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to romantic exile.

Now, let’s talk about breath. Halitosis happens. It’s not a moral failing. It’s science. It can come from poor oral hygiene, sure, but also from dry mouth, stress, spicy foods, sugar-heavy diets, smoking, vaping, or even medical conditions like GERD, sinus infections, or diabetes. Heck, even nasal congestion or certain medications can turn your breath into a biohazard. So unless you’re licking garlic cloves between kisses, this isn’t about being “nasty.” It’s about being human.

That said, if this guy’s reaction felt cruel or abrupt, that’s on him. A little tact goes a long way, especially when you’ve known each other for months. If he never texts again, it’s not because your breath was bad; it’s because his bedside manner was worse.

But if he does reach out? You get to decide whether you want to revisit that connection. You’re not obligated to chase someone who made you feel small. You’re allowed to say, “Hey, that moment sucked. I felt embarrassed. But I’m not defined by it, and if you can’t see that, we’re not a match.”

In the meantime, hydrate, floss, brush your tongue, and maybe keep a mint in your clutch just for peace of mind. If the issue persists, check in with a dentist or doctor. But don’t spiral. Don’t rewrite your whole identity around one awkward moment.

You’re not mintless. You’re magnificent. And anyone worth kissing should know the difference.

Uncle Gary