I’m five months postpartum with our second child, and I’ve been carrying around about 40 extra pounds since the pregnancy

Dear Uncle Gary,

I’m five months postpartum with our second child, and I’ve been carrying around about 40 extra pounds from the pregnancy. Things have been tender and exhausting, and intimacy with my husband has all but disappeared. He never initiates anything anymore. The few times we’ve had sex since the baby came, it was because I initiated sex.

This morning, something strange happened. A package arrived in the mail, no return address, just a plain brown envelope with generic printed text. I assumed it was something from Amazon. But when I opened it, I was stunned. Inside were two pairs of used men’s underwear. And they weren’t my husband’s.

They were stiff, smelled awful, and looked like something no one should ever touch, let alone mail. My first thought was that maybe some woman mailed them back to him, but I checked, and he doesn’t own anything like them.

Now I’m spiraling. Did he buy them? Is someone playing a sick joke? Is this some bizarre fetish thing I don’t know about?

I don’t know how to ask him without sounding accusatory or like I’ve lost my mind. But I also can’t pretend this didn’t happen. What do I do?

Signed, Postpartum and Panicking

Dear Postpartum and Panicking,

First, let me say, I hear you. I hear the confusion, the fear, the exhaustion, and the ache for clarity in a moment that feels anything but clear. You’ve been through a lot. You’re five months postpartum, navigating the physical and emotional terrain that comes with bringing new life into the world. That alone is a full-time job. And now, on top of that, you’re holding a mystery in your hands that feels unsettling, even surreal.

Let’s start with the facts. A package arrived. No return address. Generic envelope. Inside, two pairs of used men’s underwear that don’t belong to your husband. That’s not just strange, it’s alarming! And it’s okay to feel freaked out.

Now, when something this bizarre shows up in your life, your mind starts racing. Is this a prank Is it something darker? Is it connected to your husband in a way you don’t understand

Here’s what I want you to remember: you don’t have to solve this alone. You don’t have to carry the weight of this mystery in silence. And you certainly don’t have to pretend everything’s fine when your instincts are telling you otherwise.

So yes, you ask him. Not with accusation. Not with anger. But with honesty.

“Hey, something strange came in the mail today. I need to talk to you about it.”

You show him the package. You describe what you found. And then you listen. You give him space to respond. Because if there’s an explanation, whether it’s a prank, a mistake, or something more complicated. You deserve to hear it directly.

And if there isn’t an explanation, if the response is evasive or dismissive, then you have more information. Not about the underwear, necessarily, but about the state of your communication. About the trust between you.

Now, let’s talk about the deeper layer. You mentioned intimacy has been scarce. That you’re the one initiating. That you’re carrying the weight of postpartum recovery, emotional vulnerability, and now this strange event. That’s a lot. And it’s okay to say, “I need help.”

This might be a moment to consider couples therapy. Not because something’s broken, but because something’s unclear. Therapy isn’t a punishment. It’s a tool. It’s a place where you can say, “I’m confused,” and have someone help you sort through the noise.

You deserve clarity. You deserve respect. You deserve to feel safe in your own home.

So take a breath. Trust your instincts. And start the conversation.

You’re not crazy. You’re not overreacting. You’re a woman standing in the middle of a strange moment, asking for truth. And that’s brave.

With respect, Uncle Gary