Dear Uncle Gary, I just started an amazing job as an assistant to a very successful hairstylist in Newport Beach.

Dear Uncle Gary,

I just started an amazing job as an assistant to a very successful hairstylist in Newport Beach. He’s super busy, well-known, and I was thrilled to be hired. About a month in, he asked me out. I froze. A few days earlier, he’d asked if I had a boyfriend, and I said no, I honestly thought he was gay, so I didn’t think anything of it.

I panicked and said I like girls, mostly because I was afraid that saying no would cost me the job. Now I’ve heard he’s been asking clients if they knew I like girls, and I feel like I’ve created a mess I don’t know how to clean up.

What should I do?

Signed, Mess-Maker

Dear Mess-Maker (and I say that with love),

First, congratulations on landing the job. Newport Beach, high-profile stylist, fresh start, that’s no small thing. You earned it.

Now, about the deer-in-headlights moment. You were caught off guard, and you did what a lot of people do when they feel cornered: you said something to deflect, to protect, to buy time. That doesn’t make you dishonest. It makes you human.

But now the moment has passed, and the story you told is walking around the salon without you. That’s the part we need to fix.

Here’s the truth: your boss crossed a line. Asking if you have a boyfriend is one thing. Asking you out when you’re brand new and working under him? That’s a power imbalance. And now he’s chatting with clients about your sexuality like it’s salon gossip. That’s not just inappropriate, it’s unprofessional.

You don’t owe him a romantic explanation. You don’t owe him a label. What you do owe is yourself a little clarity and a lot of self-respect.

If you feel safe doing so, pull him aside and say, “I want to be clear, I’m here to work. I’m grateful for the opportunity, but I’m not comfortable with personal questions or conversations about my private life being shared with clients.”

You don’t have to explain the panic. You don’t have to revisit the lie. You just have to reset the boundary.

And if that feels too risky, document what’s happening. Keep notes. Talk to someone you trust. Because if this escalates or affects your job, you’ll want a record.

You’re not the problem here. You’re the professional trying to navigate a tricky situation with grace. And that’s something to be proud of.

Best Regards, Uncle Gary