Concerned Dad

Dear Uncle Gary,

I caught my teenager lying about something small. Do I let it slide, or is this the moment to make it a big deal?

Signed Concerned Dad

Dear Concerned Dad,

You’re right to say something. Not because the lie was catastrophic, but because silence teaches just as loudly as words do. If you let it slide, you’re not just ignoring the fib; you’re unintentionally signaling that truth is negotiable when the stakes are low. And that’s a dangerous seed to plant.

Small lies are like loose threads. Tug on one, and you start unraveling trust. Not all at once, but slowly, subtly. And in a relationship as foundational as parent and child, trust isn’t just nice, it’s oxygen. You don’t need to go full courtroom drama here. No lectures, no guilt trips. Just a clear, calm moment where you say:

“Hey, I noticed that wasn’t the truth. I get it, sometimes lying feels easier. But it chips away at something important between us. I need to know I can trust you, even when it’s uncomfortable.”

That’s not punishment. That’s parenting. You’re not reacting to the lie, you’re responding to the opportunity. Because every small lie is a fork in the road: one path leads to accountability, the other to a bad habit that erodes credibility.

And here’s the kicker: if you handle this with clarity and respect, you’re modeling exactly what you want them to learn. That honesty isn’t just about avoiding trouble, it’s about building character, credibility, and connection.

So yes, say something. Not to make it a big deal, but to make it a meaningful one. That’s how you raise someone who tells the truth even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

Regards, Uncle Gary